Monday, 23 January 2017

Happiness in Married Life: Myth or Achievable?

According to Franz Schubert, “Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife”. The association of husband and wife is the longest lasting relationship and hence, this mode of relationship best describes the positive and negative facets of a relationship.

What Triggers Unrest in Marriage?

The issues in a marital life could be for a number of reasons. There may be an irretrievable breakdown of relationship between the husband and wife, if:

Either husband or wife just wants to make each other’s spouse as he or she had envisaged in his or her dream. If both have inseparably close friends, and they do not wish to say thank you to each other before consulting that friend. If they both live in the virtual world, totally divorced from the actual world, if they both are egoist and they can go to any extent to prove their points and score brownie points on each other.

If they both hate each other’s likes. For example: the husband hates his wife’s shopping hobby and the wife does not like her husband reading newspaper.
If they both always try to take credit of something they have achieved jointly or if they both want to dwarf each other’s achievements or good works, by merely highlighting individual achievement.
Is Happiness in Marriage Possible?

So, what is the solution? What should the couples or for that matter a warring couple should do, in order to save their marriage or lead a blissful married life. Here are some must-do things:

They should agree to disagree and respect each other’s emotions. The couples should underline the problem area separately sitting together and chalking out a plan to reduce it with mutual effort in a phased manner. They both should listen carefully about each other’s problem area without getting personal.
They should praise each other in public and criticize in private. Public criticism, takes bad shape most of the times, and hence both should avoid incriminating each other publically.
Husband and wife should not stop communicating with each other, no matter how big the issue is.
They should communicate effectively, because effective communication, as it is rightly said, breaks down the barriers and leaves all with a clear conscience.

The husband and wife should treat each other as the fallible human being. Both should go into the roots of the problem that may have triggered doubts and differences, and must not seek any mediator. They must not let any trifle thing to get twisted out of proportion and take an ugly shape. Both should respect each other’s set of friends, families, and other loved ones or should not at least show overt contempt towards them. If there already has been a fight over an issue, it should not again get cropped up. Instead, it should be resolved in a close- door conversation bilaterally. And most importantly, they should not be in a prescribing mood, always in a cooperating mood.

It is important to know that the above-mentioned ways include but not limited to what may lead to a blissful marriage.
                                                ---Abha Thakur

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