Monday, 27 February 2017

Why can't Women Fantasise?

Years ago I read an article in now defunct The Illustrated Weekly. It was written by a female writer who vividly described how Draupadi 'enjoyed' and 'compared' her five husbands (panch Pandav) in bed and also had them together in tandem when she wanted. Mind you, Draupadi was sexually quite vocal and she made it clear that Nakul was unable to satiate her (this one finds in Belvalkar's unexpurgated Mahabharat; a copy of it is available at BORI, Poona). The article ruffled the fragile sensibilities of hypocrite Indians, especially of male readers, who still think that women can't and shouldn't fantasise. 


The editor Khushwant Singh refused to apologise and many bold women of that time hailed him as an editor of guts and gumption. Years have elapsed. But we're still squeamish about a woman's sexual fantasies and her preferences in the bedroom. This is Grundyism. Why shouldn't a woman fantasise? It's her fundamental sexual right. Masters and Johnson observed in 1967 that women fantasised more than men but they curbed their fantasies because of social conditioning that thinking and fantasising about sex was an immoral thing and only 'bad girls' thought of sex. 

We've unnecessarily dovetailed sex and morality and when it comes to a woman's eroticism, the morality aspect works overtime. This writer himself saw and read the South-East Asian version of Ramayan (there're innumerable alternative versions of Ramayan) at Jakarta University's library in Indonesia. There's a passage in that tome which states how Sita got wet to see Ravana's handsome son Indraneel, also known as Meghnaad. She longed for him and pleasured herself fantasising about her abductor's son!! Very natural. There's a passage even in Valmiki's Ramayan in which Sita subtly hinted that Ram was a sissy in bed. So when she saw the virile Meghnaad, she felt spasms in her pudenda and oozed.


But this is outright scandalising to the readers because we don't want to accept the fact that women are also sexual beings and they too can have vivid and varied sexual fantasies. It's time that we got rid of a false sexual morality and accepted wholeheartedly that sex is very natural and men as well as women of all age groups fantasise frequently. Don't they?

                                                                               Sumit Paul
  


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